Ty Howell

My name is Ty Howell. And I am an addict that chose to recover out loud. I truly think if we keep it in and choose to be quiet, we’re not really helping anyone. And I want to help an any way I can! So after over 20 years of struggling and 4 treatment centers later, I finally find happiness! And that when I decided to go public and write my book. Now I’m 1 year and 5 months clean and co-created a podcast on sobriety and recovery. But it’s not your typical podcast, we like to focus on life after the party. How recovery has changed you. We like to add humor cause laughter is the best medicine! But we’re also serious. And we’re not afraid to be vulnerable. My addiction started in college right after I graduated high school. I always struggled with depression and anxiety, I just didn’t know it. When I finally when to the Dr and get diagnosed it was too late! I was already severely addicted to opiate. I couldn’t go a day without my pills. It controlled my whole day and my life! I had to choice in the matter. I couldn’t deal with life. But I had the coolest family in the world so I couldn’t blame it on them. They really tried to help me! But I wasn’t ready. Iv been thru 3 colleges and didn’t graduate one of them. But i partied very hard! Drinking really wasn’t my thing after high school. I was more interested in my opioids. I would take 25 at a time. And it would only progress as time went on. I was snorting whatever I could get. My friends and my brother would always tell me to take a break, but I knew I couldn’t. Finally after my third college, I decided to come home and just get a job. I thought maybe getting away from the college scene would help. But no matter where you go you will always find it. I kept this up for years. Until I hit my late 20s. I found the pill that would change it all for me. It didn’t come up on drug test either. Kratom…. It was cheaper to buy, but the pills were much bigger. I started off with three testing out. And I fell in love. It felt just like an opiate high. So now I’m taking this every day twice a day. And my tolerance keeps getting bigger and bigger. I was starting to gain weight. A lot of weight. And people were starting to notice my mood swings. I met a girl who had two kids of her own and we started talking, but I never told her about my addiction. About three months into our relationship, I came out and told her. She wasn’t mad and she certainly wasn’t happy. I told her I may need help, but I’m not ready yet. As time went on. I had to be high all day long! So I was going through bags very quickly. A lot of times we would be having fun with the kids that would just get up and leave for no reason to go get more. I felt bad, but there was nothing I can do. It has control of my brain. About two years into a relationship you were getting serious. He wanted to have another child. So we tried for a long time and nothing happened. So we decided to get married instead. We went down to Florida to my grandparents condo but her other kids had to stay home so we decided not to get married yet and just go on vacation. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I know most of the time was wasted by driving hours out of our way to get kratom. As soon as a vacation was over, we got home and I went back to work. I was always high at work. And my work is very dangerous. But like I said before, I had no control. I’m working night shift and my phone rings and it’s my girlfriend the weird thing is she never calls unless it’s important. So I answered it and she said that she’s pregnant of course I was happy, but I was frightened at the same time. So I told her the truth I’m still using and I need to make another phone call. I called my mother and told her I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is you’re gonna be a grandma again because my brother has three other children. Then I told my mom I was still using and it’s gotten worse. I need help, she was a nurse for 25 years so she called some of her colleagues and we found a detox facility not too far away I went there for seven days got released came home and relapsed after seven days. I didn’t tell anybody for a few months then finally I called my union president and told him everything. He says your best bet is to come to work and turn yourself in. So the next day that’s what I did instead of firing me they gave me time off to go to Rehab. I live in Ohio, but I decided to go to Tennessee. I went to a treatment facility down there for 36 days. I come back home feeling amazing. Nothing’s gonna stop me now. On the eighth month I relapsed. Once again, I didn’t tell anybody for a while until my mom’s tired and finding bags of kratom everywhere in the house. She gave me a choice either Rehab or I need to move out. So I called the place down in Columbus and went there for another 36 days. I came back feeling different. By now, my daughter was born, but I really wasn’t allowed seeing her because of my condition. Everybody thought that would save me, but it made my anxiety worse. So when I got home after a month, I relapsed. I was certain that I was never gonna get better so I thought about packing up all my stuff and move in as far away as I could. But the company that did my IOP‘s from home told me that I could probably get into a Suboxone clinic, so I called him up and tried it. Believe it or not it worked. I’ve been sober for over a year now. I have a podcast I could created. And wrote a book. I’ve never felt better in my whole entire life. So if I can do it, anybody can do it! Now I want to help people anyway I can and grow this podcast so everybody can see it and watch it and hopefully get something from it. If anybody is interested in the book or the podcast just message me. I know it seems like when you’re in the midst of addiction that you will never find. Peace and sobriety, but trust me you will you just have to want it. Now, my daughter and I have the best relationship you can have!!!